I cared not for consequences but wrote (elorie) wrote,
I cared not for consequences but wrote
elorie

Back! by Popular Demand!

well, ok, lupaloo's demand. She's popular.
~

Reasons Why You Should Never Date...Anyone, by Astrological Sign
by me, elorie, Accept No Substitutes

~
..an Aries. Empathy? What's that? Huh? Why did that hurt your feelings?

..a Taurus. It's their stuff. It will always be their stuff. You can be married ten years and they will be able to tell you which books and CDs are yours and which ones are theirs. They might, however, forget your birthday.

..a Gemini. You will never get a word in edgewise again.

..a Cancer. Moods that rival Scorpio's, but less sexy. Worrywarts. Will call their mother while you are on your honeymoon.

..a Leo. It's the movie of their life, and you are in the supporting role. They can be gracious, as long as you acknowledge this eternal truth.

..a Virgo. Obsessive compulsion is not a replacement for a personality.

..a Libra. As long as you don't really care if they never, ever, ever make up their minds about anything, you should be fine. Unless the way they also flit from one lover to the next bothers you...

..a Scorpio. They sulk, hold grudges, and are vindictive. The sign most likely to become a stalker. But, sexaay.

..a Sagittarius. They're iconoclasts, see? Silly mundane rules were not meant for such as they. They're rebels. This means they will never, ever show up on time for a date.

..a Capricorn. There are ways that Things Are Done, and ways that they are Not Done. And the Capricorn knows what they are. Tardiness drives them insane. However, they do not have the Virgo's saving grace of neatness.

(Sagittarius and Capricorn are the Zodiac's "Marriage Made in Hell")

..an Aquarius. Deep down, they think of you as an experiment.

..a Pisces. Because they are batshit crazy.
Tags: humor
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  • fine, fine...

    The Scorpios feel they are being picked on. So in the interests of fairness.... Reasons Why You Should Never Date...(Or, My Own Version of Darkside…

  • My tweets

    Mon, 12:58: RT @ gpike_: Telling ignorant people "just google it" in an era where top google results are driven by $$$ is kinda irresponsible,…

  • My tweets

    Sun, 12:28: RT @ ciphergoth: Had vaguely assumed that trees shared a common ancestor. I could not have been more wrong. "Being a tree" has…